Toilet Titans is a company that produces toilet paper and some other merchandise with the current presidential candidates. You can order in bulk, if you want the highest discount.
What is Toilet Titans?
The 2016 presidential election has become a joke among Americans and the rest of the world. Instead of having the qualified candidates that we’ve had for the majority of past elections, we are given two people who have been in the media constantly with their unsavory actions. With coverage for everything from Donald Trump’s shaming of immigrants to Hilary Clinton’s release of delicate emails, it’s hard to know if there’s even a chance for our country at all. You may have reached a point where you just wish you could flush these candidates down the toilet with your morning bathroom break. With Toilet Titans, you can.
Toilet Titans is a company that specifically sprung up to give consumers the ability to express their complete disgust for the current options for president. The company creates toilet paper, but their mission doesn’t stop there. This isn’t your classic toilet paper; this tissue is created with the option of having Donald Trump’s or Hilary Clinton’s face on each square. Whenever you use the bathroom, you can demonstrate exactly how much you value their opinions or morals with as many sheets as you need.
The company offers a hilarious incentive, letting you vote for whichever candidate has the worst reputation in your mind to receive the applicable roll. Conveniently, regardless of who you “vote” for, at least you know this election won’t be rigged. This toilet paper lets you indulge in your true thoughts of what these candidates stand for.
Products Available through Toilet Titans
The main product advertised from Toilet Titans is the toilet paper. The paper is available in 2-ply, making it surprisingly soft, considering the harsh and harrowing attitudes of the featured celebrities. Choose from either Hilary Clinton or Donald Trump, depending on who you loathe the most. The featured pictures for each of these people is the perfect canvas for your morning bathroom routine.
Even if you decide that the toilet paper is a great way to show your disdain, you can also get some other merchandise with this company. Toilet Titans offers t-shirts with the familiar phrase “I Voted,” much like the ones that are distributed for the actual election. The shirts go up to an XXXL, and are priced at $13.00, showing off that your vote, like so many of the others this election year, will be going down the toilet.
You can also opt to receive a button with the same “I Voted” logo, featuring the Toilet Titans brand on it as well. This option is only $1.00.
Purchasing Options for the Toilet Paper from Toilet Titans
After you know which one of the presidential candidates you’d rather use in your bathroom from day to day, you have another decision to make – how much do you need? Toilet Titans offers plenty of bulk purchasing options, giving you discounts as your purchase increases. Here are the prices for the varying quantities of toilet paper.
- 1 roll: $7.50
- 2 rolls: $15.00 ($7.50 each)
- 3 rolls: $22.50 ($7.50 each)
- 4 rolls: $30.00 ($7.25 each)
- 6 rolls: $43.50 ($7.25 each)
- 9 rolls: $63.00 ($7.00 each)
- 12 rolls: $84.00 ($7.00 each)
- 18 rolls: $99.00 ($6.50 each)
- 1,000 rolls: $3,500.00 ($3.50)
While it’s doubtful you will be willing to invest over three grand in toilet paper, you will receive the greatest discount by choosing the largest package.
There’s actually one more incentive for buying your toilet paper in bulk. If you purchase anything under 12 rolls, you are responsible for a $6.00 shipping fee. However, if your purchase is 12 rolls or more, you can have this toilet paper delivered to your door without paying a dime to ship it.
Contacting the Makers of Toilet Titans
Even though it’s pretty clear what you use these products to do, you may still have a couple questions about the company or your recent purchase. The customer service team at Toilet Titans is reachable by submitting the online form or calling 1-855-778-6137.
Toilet Titans Conclusion
Let’s face it – the 2016 presidential election has turned into a joke for our government and for our country as a whole. The main candidates are anything but moral and upstanding, leaving citizens with their hands tied and with nothing they can do to change the future. While your vote in the actual election may seem useless, you can at least enjoy the satisfaction of knowing what your selected toilet paper is facing every day.
If you’re sick of the direction that our country seems to be moving in, show your patriotism by rebelling against the presidential candidates every time you take a bathroom break. At least you will have the ultra-soft tissue from Toilet Titans to comfort you as the Oval Office is handled over to either corrupt politician.